Relaxing Weekend

This has been a great weekend so far. This past week has been very busy for Josh and myself, so I am really enjoying some down time.

Thursday evening I went to my first miscarriage support group meeting. I have been wanting to go for awhile, but just hadn't made that step. the meeting was really great and I learned a lot about the grieving process. I left feeling like I am not crazy after all! :) Some days I feel so great and then something will happen that just triggers my emotions and I do a 180. I have also felt really awkward lately in social situations, which I also learned was completely normal. It was nice talking to other people who are dealing with the same emotions and feelings.

Friday after school I went out for a drink with a good friend from work and then Josh a I went out to dinner with Daniel and Amanda (Josh' brother and sister-in-law). We had a great time and great conversation. I absolutely LOVE Friday evenings because I know I get to sleep in the next morning!

Today we went shopping for some clothes for Florida. Poor Josh...he is never going to love shopping and I probably didn't help matters when I made him try on "man capris" (although it did make for a good laugh!). Tonight we are staying in and hanging out with my sister. Tomorrow is her 3rd birthday celebration and we are going bowling at Fast Lanes.

Anyway, sorry for all the rambling....I guess I better get busy with the lesson planning for next week...did I mention that I am VERY ready for spring break!?!

Happy Birthday Sister!

Today is my little sister's 18th birthday. I can't believe she is 18 today! It seems like just yesterday that she was entering high school, and now she is graduating in May. Time really does fly!

Alyson,

You are such a wonderful sister and friend. You are growing into such a beautiful woman, inside and out. I am so proud of all your accomplishments in your 18 years. Thank you for always being there for me, through the good times and the bad. You can make me laugh when all I feel like doing is cry (dancing for me while I was stuck in a yucky hospital bed), you listen when I need to talk, and you are always up for a good shopping trip (especially at 4 in the morning on Black Friday!) I love you so much and I look forward to all the memories that are yet to come (now I sound like a cheesy Hallmark commercial!).

Happy Birthday sister! Love you!

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.

--Isadora James

Fun Weekend

Well, it is Sunday night and I am sitting here wondering where my weekend went. It seems like they always go by way too fast. I had a really great weekend that started with going out with some great friends on Friday for margaritas. We had so much fun and it was a great end to the work week.
I got up early Saturday morning to volunteer at the Odyssey of the Mind competition. My school has a team and since three of the members are in my class, I was more than happy to help out. The team worked really hard and scored high enough to make it to the state competition. I am so proud of them because this is only the second year they have participated and improved so much from last year. The icing on the cake was when one of the members (who is in my class...I'm a proud teacher, what can I say!) won the award for Most Creative OMer. This is a huge deal because there is only one winner. I am so proud of Aleeyha and this is going to be a big boost to her confidence!
Saturday night, Josh and I went out to dinner with Daniel and Amanda and had a great time like always.
We have had a lazy Sunday, which has been nice. We went to lunch for my sister's birthday (the first of three celebrations!) and I have spent the rest of the day grading papers and lesson planning for the week. This is the most stressful time of the year for a teacher and I honestly can't wait for the state test to be over with! I always worry and stress so much about getting everything taught in time, but I have to say that it does feel a little different this year. I think the events of this year have really put things into perspective for me. Life is too short to worry constantly about how twenty-eight 10 year olds are going to do on a test they take one week out of the year. Don't get me wrong, I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to get my kiddos ready, but I have just decided to not let it control my life, like it has seem to do every other year at this time. Anyway, I won't even get started on my feelings about the test...that would be a whole different post! :)
Have a great week...hopefully the weather will stay nice although I hear it is suppose to be a stormy week...boo for inside recess!

Dreaming of...

In 3 short weeks Josh and I will be taking an unexpected vacation to

To visit

This obviously isn't how we thought we would be spending our spring break, but we are happy to get the chance to go on another vacation together. Although I wish with all my heart that we would be home finishing up a nursery, I know that our time will come.

I have gone to Disney World twice in my life and Josh has never gone. I have always wanted to take him. I can't wait to see the look on his face. Since I have gone before and know what to expect, I am beyond excited. Josh, on the other hand, has been more reserved. I don't think he knows what to think. One night when I was talking about the trip he asked me, "Isn't it just a glorified Silver Dollar City?"!!! Oh I can't wait!

Highs and Lows

Well, I have gone almost an entire month without blogging. February has been a month full of highs and lows. I SO badly just want everything to be back to my "normal", but the more time that goes by, the more I realize this is my new "normal"....feeling really good one day and feeling down in the dumps the next. The good days are starting to outnumber the bad, but sometimes those bad days creep up on me when I least suspect it.

So, here is a recap of the "highs" and "lows" of my month:

High--spending a ton of quality time with my husband due to all the snow days
Low--squeezing all the curriculum in before the benchmark test
High--finding peace when we had Tytus' memorial service
Low--having to bury our first born
High--sharing a great V-day with Josh. We exchanged homemade presents...who knew my husband could be so crafty!
Low--finding out on my grandparent's 54th anniversary that my grandpa has cancer
High--spending some much needed time "crafting"...that always makes me feel better

And one last "high", I am SO blessed with wonderful family and friends. It seems like every time that I am feeling really down, someone calls, emails, or texts. I know this blog is probably depressing, but sometimes it just feels good to get it out. Hopefully I will be back soon with a happier post.

I'm going to be okay...

This has been a good weekend...no GREAT weekend. I didn't do anything spectacular, unless you count grading papers, lesson planning, and grocery shopping! No, this weekend was great because for the first time since my miscarriage, I truly feel like everything is going to be okay. I have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what. I have a great family that is always there. I have a job that I love so very much (that comes with 28 kiddos who think I'm pretty cool). I have the best friends anyone could ask for....and to top it all off, I serve a God who will never let go of me. Times might not always be easy and sometimes they might just down right "stink", but I know that my faith in God and in the future will get me through anything.
I wanted to post a video of a song, but since I am technologically challenged, I will just leave you with the lyrics. Have a great week!

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

First Week Back

Well, after an entire extra week off due to snow, I FINALLY got back to work. I was a little nervous about going back, but it really hasn't been that bad. It has been nice to get back into a routine and schedule, although I have to say that I really miss sleeping in! My students are really wonderful. This is my second year to have this class, and although they may never know it, they have really helped me get through this hard time. I was telling Josh the other night that even though God hasn't blessed us with a baby here on earth, he has blessed me with 28 eccentric, caring, and loving 4th graders who make me smile every day.

Although going back to work hasn't been as bad as I feared, I'm not going to lie, I have had moments this week where the sadness washes over me. There are several girls at school who have just had babies and several others who are pregnant (one on my team who is due next month) and while I am happy for them, I can't help but wonder why that can't be me. What did I do to deserve this? I have to remind myself that I didn't do anything and that this is all in God's plan, but sometimes I just can't help but have a pity party for myself. I know in time it will get easier....I just wish that time would hurry up! I really don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer", but this is just my life right now. Luckily God has blessed me with wonderful family and friends who are great listeners!

My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word.Psalm 119:81