Well, after an entire extra week off due to snow, I FINALLY got back to work. I was a little nervous about going back, but it really hasn't been that bad. It has been nice to get back into a routine and schedule, although I have to say that I really miss sleeping in! My students are really wonderful. This is my second year to have this class, and although they may never know it, they have really helped me get through this hard time. I was telling Josh the other night that even though God hasn't blessed us with a baby here on earth, he has blessed me with 28 eccentric, caring, and loving 4th graders who make me smile every day.
Although going back to work hasn't been as bad as I feared, I'm not going to lie, I have had moments this week where the sadness washes over me. There are several girls at school who have just had babies and several others who are pregnant (one on my team who is due next month) and while I am happy for them, I can't help but wonder why that can't be me. What did I do to deserve this? I have to remind myself that I didn't do anything and that this is all in God's plan, but sometimes I just can't help but have a pity party for myself. I know in time it will get easier....I just wish that time would hurry up! I really don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer", but this is just my life right now. Luckily God has blessed me with wonderful family and friends who are great listeners!
My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word.Psalm 119:81
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2 comments:
Hi Jennifer, I hadn't stopped by in a while and was so sorry to read about your loss. I can only imagine the heartbreak you were and still are enduring. I'll be praying for you and Josh as you face the days ahead.
Glad to hear the kids have been so encouraging during this time. I always find kids to be refreshing through difficult times... they are so innocent and so real! We continue to pray for you daily! God is in control and his plan is always perfect... though often not easy and not what we expect!
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