I'm going to be okay...

This has been a good weekend...no GREAT weekend. I didn't do anything spectacular, unless you count grading papers, lesson planning, and grocery shopping! No, this weekend was great because for the first time since my miscarriage, I truly feel like everything is going to be okay. I have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what. I have a great family that is always there. I have a job that I love so very much (that comes with 28 kiddos who think I'm pretty cool). I have the best friends anyone could ask for....and to top it all off, I serve a God who will never let go of me. Times might not always be easy and sometimes they might just down right "stink", but I know that my faith in God and in the future will get me through anything.
I wanted to post a video of a song, but since I am technologically challenged, I will just leave you with the lyrics. Have a great week!

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back

I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

First Week Back

Well, after an entire extra week off due to snow, I FINALLY got back to work. I was a little nervous about going back, but it really hasn't been that bad. It has been nice to get back into a routine and schedule, although I have to say that I really miss sleeping in! My students are really wonderful. This is my second year to have this class, and although they may never know it, they have really helped me get through this hard time. I was telling Josh the other night that even though God hasn't blessed us with a baby here on earth, he has blessed me with 28 eccentric, caring, and loving 4th graders who make me smile every day.

Although going back to work hasn't been as bad as I feared, I'm not going to lie, I have had moments this week where the sadness washes over me. There are several girls at school who have just had babies and several others who are pregnant (one on my team who is due next month) and while I am happy for them, I can't help but wonder why that can't be me. What did I do to deserve this? I have to remind myself that I didn't do anything and that this is all in God's plan, but sometimes I just can't help but have a pity party for myself. I know in time it will get easier....I just wish that time would hurry up! I really don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer", but this is just my life right now. Luckily God has blessed me with wonderful family and friends who are great listeners!

My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word.Psalm 119:81

Update

I just wanted to post a quick update from my doctor's appointment. She had my test results and Tytus had Turner's Syndrome. A lot of miscarriages are due to TS, however it is extremely rare for a repeat occurrence...a definite answered prayer. She also said that is was very rare that I made it as far as I did in my pregnancy because most miscarry in the first trimester. This makes me smile because the name Tytus means "fighter/warrior".

This and that

Well, today was suppose to be my first day back at work but due to the snow, I have an extra day off. I have to say that I felt a HUGE sense of relief when they cancelled school. Today was suppose to be an inservice day without the kids and oddly enough that scares me more than being around my 4th graders. I work with wonderful people, don't get me wrong, but I am just worried. I don't want to be treated any different and I really just want to go back to "normal". But as my mom reminded me, I have a new "normal". People will look at me differently and will probably feel sorry for me. As much as I hate that, I know I would feel the same way if it was someone else.

I also have my four week post-pardom checkup today. I can't believe it has already been four weeks. Hopefully today we will get some answers about what went wrong. At the ultrasound it looked like it was probably a chromosome thing, but today we should know for sure. I think this is going to make me feel better and hopefully let Josh and I start thinking about the future.

Last, I am excited to say that my little sister Alyson has started a blog. She is 9 years younger than me and she is WONDERFUL! She has really helped me through some of the rough times these past 4 weeks...she even performed her Macy's dance at the hospital for me! I love her dearly and I am so proud of all her accomplishments.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Menu Fridays

So, as mentioned in my last post I have a goal to lose 20 pounds before our spring break trip to Orlando (I am not too concerned with the timeline as long as I get the weight off). When I dieted in the past I found that Weight Watchers worked best for me. I really don't consider it a diet, just healthier eating and being more aware of what I am eating.

Josh and I are also implementing Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (Josh calls it the money diet) this year, which will mean that we are going to have to stop eating out so much. My goal is to plan healthy meals that will be quick and easy to make. I love looking at recipes on blogs, so I decided that I am going to include our weekly menu on my blog every week with a link to the recipes. Hopefully it will keep me accountable with both of my "diets". I am going to try to put the menus up on Friday (even though Menu Monday sounds so much better) because I tend to do my grocery shopping on Saturdays. I hope this helps you too!

Sunday--Eggplant Parmesan and steamed broccoli (the steamer kind found in the freezer section)
Monday--Thai fried rice
Tuesday--left overs
Wednesday--baked garlic lemon tilapia and baked zucchini sticks
Thursday--Jenio turkey burgers (you can buy a box of 12 in the meat department) and broccoli-rice-and cheese (the steamer kind)
Friday--turkey taco lettuce wraps
Saturday--broiled tilapia and roasted brussel sprouts (okay, for those of you that hate the thought of brussel sprouts this recipe might change your mind. I have made them several times and LOVE them!)

I am also going to make a healthy dessert that we can eat on through out the week so that I am not tempted to eat junk (I have a minor addiction to Reeses!)
Dessert--No-bake cheesecake

Well, that will be our menu for the week. I hope that it gives you some ideas!