Christmas in Heaven

So I'm not going to lie and say that I am totally enjoying the holidays. I think I preoccupied myself with gift buying and wrapping presents so much that I didn't realize how truly difficult this Christmas was going to be for me. Josh and I exchanged stockings yesterday morning and I spent the rest of the morning crying my eyes out. We went to my dad's house last night for our annual Christmas sleepover. This is usually one of my favorite celebrations, but I spent the whole night just trying to hold it together. As I was going to sleep last night it hit me...there is no present, no family gathering, no Christmas tradition that is going to bring Tytus back to us. There is never going to be anything that is ever going to fill that void in my heart. I know that life will go on and that hopefully we will have a house full of children some day, but nothing is going to take his place.
I found the following poem earlier from a mom who lost her baby girl at birth. It does bring comfort to know that Tytus is spending his first Christmas with Jesus. I love you baby boy...Merry Christmas!

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below, with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular please wipe away that tear,for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,but the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart, But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place, Can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior face to face?
I'll ask Him to lift your spirit as I tell Him of your love, so then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.
Please let your hearts be joyful and let your spirit sing, for I am spending Christmas in Heaven, and I’m walking with the King.
~ Wanda Bencke